It’s easier to tell a story once you’ve been all the way through it.
When you’re on the other side of it, you can look back and say, here’s what I learned from that, and here’s what I would have done differently. You can analyze it at that point.
But when you’re in the middle of it, it’s more emotional. You’re very uncertain about where it’s headed. There’s no beginning, middle, or end to it yet, because you’re still in the middle of it.
That’s why we’re going to start our video podcast series, Our Story Your Story, with Chapter One from A Gypsy’s Kiss: a Treasure Hunt Adventure by Toby Younis and Shelley Carney. You can also get your own copy of this book on Amazon. If you have Kindle Unlimited, you can read it for free or you can purchase the paperback copy if you like.
Each week, we will start our episode with the next chapter from our book. Then we will extract a theme from that chapter and tell stories from our lives that fall under that theme.
This week, the theme was bullying.
Not only did Toby learn how to spot a bully during his military experience, but he also discovered the power of organized structure and public speaking through his high school participation in the forensic society and debate team. Extemporaneous Speaking influenced his public speaking ability, which he later passed on to his children, who became good speakers in high school.
He also shares how important figures in his life, such as his uncles, Christian Brothers, and non-commissioned officers, helped shape his ideas of masculinity and responsibility.
And let’s not forget the time he stood up for his friend with muscular dystrophy and took on school bullies like a boss.
As Toby recalls his childhood, he reveals that helping others was always important to him.
Toby notes that there is a distinction between bullies and psychopaths.
Shelley shares her experience of responding to a girl who was jealous and picking on her.
Together, Toby and Shelley give us some serious wisdom on how to confront bullies and create change. They both learned that just looking like you’re going to stand up for yourself can deter bullies and that sometimes responding loudly to a bully can make them back off.
Shelley reflects on how she could have confronted other bullies and asked them to stop, instead of letting it continue for years without understanding their reasons.
Toby and Shelley chose to share a true story about a school bully named Tank in their book (A Gypsy’s Kiss) as a way to define Toby’s identity in the context of the world he existed in at the time, which was St. Michael’s High School in Santa Fe, New Mexico.
But this episode isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. Toby experienced a heartbreaking loss when he was just 11 years old, losing all of the male members of his father’s family in a tragic plane crash.
He became rebellious but eventually found his way and learned how to stand up for himself and others through his experiences. He was eventually sent to St. Michael’s High School as a boarding student with the help of a local priest.
In the end, Toby reminds us that standing up to bullies is not just about protecting ourselves, but it’s also about protecting others. By standing up for ourselves and those around us, we create a safer and more accepting environment for everyone.
Bullying is a serious issue that affects many people, both young and old. It can have a negative impact on a person’s mental and emotional well-being, and may even lead to physical harm. If you or someone you know is being bullied, it’s important to take action to address the situation and prevent further harm.
One of the best ways to handle a bullying situation is to seek help from a trusted adult or authority figure. This could be a parent, teacher, counselor, or school administrator. Let them know what’s happening and how you’re feeling. They may be able to provide you with support and guidance and can work with you to develop a plan for dealing with the situation.
It’s also important to stand up for yourself and assert your boundaries. Let the bully know that their behavior is not acceptable and that you will not tolerate it. However, it’s important to do this in a calm and assertive manner, rather than resorting to violence or aggression.
Another effective way to handle bullying is to surround yourself with supportive friends and family members. Having a strong support network can help you feel more confident and empowered, and can provide you with the emotional support you need to deal with the situation.
Remember, bullying is never okay, and you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. By taking action and seeking help, you can put an end to the bullying and reclaim your sense of safety and well-being.
If you want to witness some serious wit and wisdom, tune in to Our Story Your Story and learn how to stand up to bullies like a pro.
Topics Covered in the Podcast Episode
Timestamps:
[00:03:45] Shelley reads Chapter 1 from A Gypsy’s Kiss: A Treasure Hunt Adventure
[00:09:15] “The Power of a Hook: A True Story of Bullies and Brothers at a Catholic Boarding School”
[00:13:33] How Forensic Society Shaped Public Speaking Skills
[00:16:09] “Childhood Trauma: Losing My Father in a Tragic Plane Crash”
[00:19:34] The Influence of Masculinity in My Life
[00:25:05] “Life-changing Loss: Journey of a Fatherless Son”
[00:27:20] “Lessons on Dealing with Bullies: Stand Up”
[00:28:36] “Standing up to bullies: Lessons learned”
[00:30:35] “Empower Yourself Against Bullies: One Veteran’s Lesson”
[00:37:17] “Bullying, Friendship, and Fate in Elementary School”
[00:39:58] “Tragedy plus time equals comedy: Finding humor in life’s hardships”
Favorite Quotes from this Episode:
Grief and Healing: “Anybody who’s lost one of their parents early in life can say, well, that changed my life. And it was rough for the first couple of years because I was being very rebellious and I was blaming my father. I couldn’t make amends with him.”
— Toby Younis [00:25:05 → 00:26:59]
Bullying: “What I learned about bullies is two things. Number one, they bully you because they think they can bully you. And number two, for the most part, if you stand up to them, you can get them to stop bullying you.”
— Toby Younis [00:27:20 → 00:28:34]
Overcoming Fear of Public Speaking: “The best way to get over it is to practice doing it in front of a group of people that is your peers, that you know, that you feel more comfortable with, and then moving on from there.”
— Shelley Carney [00:11:59 → 00:13:33]
We hope you enjoy this episode and if you have experienced being bullied and found a creative way to resolve it, please write to us with your story at stories@agkmedia.studio. We would love to hear from you and we may read your story on a future episode of Our Story Your Story.